27 things I've learned about living in Australia

I've been in the land down under for just shy of a year now, and aside from dodging spiders and sunburn I've had some time to form a number of observations, as follows:

1. Tourists wander around Sydney even more blindly than in London, presumably because here they have the sun in their eyes. I noticed this pre-Pokemon Go, but it's now impossible not to be killed in a stampede of glittery iPhone cases leading their hypnotised owners from street to street.

2. Commuting here will soon be voted the world's best thing. I'm sure of it.

All those poor people having to go to work on the most picturesque ferry trip in the world. :(

All those poor people having to go to work on the most picturesque ferry trip in the world. :(

Must be a good book, she's not bothered in the slightest. Credit: Rohan Kelly.

Must be a good book, she's not bothered in the slightest. Credit: Rohan Kelly.

3. The storms are unreal.

4. Breakfast and coffee is as good here as anywhere I've been.

5. ...as long as you don't have bacon.

6. You can't get alcohol in supermarkets, but they have little shops right next to the supermarkets for it - no idea why.

7. If you manage to buy it (you'll need ID unless you're retired), don't drink it outside as you'll be fined.

 

8. You might think it's less hassle to just go to the pub, and if the flashing lights from the poker machines don't give you a headache you'll get to stay for the sniffer dogs that do rounds checking people for drugs.

9. If you try to take photos of the sunrise while you're half asleep, you'll get wet.

To this day, I have no idea how my camera survived. Kudos to Nikon.

To this day, I have no idea how my camera survived. Kudos to Nikon.

10. People don't wear shoes, even in shops, I like that.

11. The beaches are to write home about, when you get signal.

If only they weren't so crowded.

If only they weren't so crowded.

You can just the width of the country in just 34 days and a dozen snake attacks.

You can just the width of the country in just 34 days and a dozen snake attacks.

12. Just because you've driven 6 hours, it doesn't mean you've moved on the map.

13. You sweat from Christmas to Easter. 

14. Any and every word can be abbreviated by cutting it in half and adding 'o' or 'y'.

15. Shark nets don't go to the bottom of the sea. 

16. No signs make any sense, particularly in train stations, but people are so friendly that it doesn't actually matter much.

17. Chicken Schnitzels in Australia are immense. 

18. Internet banking security is non existent, which is convenient but probably not very safe.

19. Christmas in July is a thing.

20.  Online shopping doesn't work. Australia has taught me that Amazon is basically an organ I depend on.

 

 

Add me on snapchat: jamespopsys

Add me on snapchat: jamespopsys

21. Winter is not a thing.

22. Kids swimming lessons in the sea are gnarly.

23. To avoid cycling fines you have to wear a helmet, have ID, have lights, not stray within 0.5 metres of a car (who measures?) and presumably not peddle either.

24. The whole country comes to a standstill for the Melbourne Cup horse racing every November.

25. Australian Flies try to holiday in your eye balls, and are spurred on by you attempting to catch them.

26. 6am exercise is the norm. Unlike the rest of the world the best time to break in to a house in Sydney is just after dawn on a Sunday, everyone is out running. 

 

 

27. Elephant's Jaywalk...

I told you. Follow me on instagram.com/jamespopsys

I told you. Follow me on instagram.com/jamespopsys